Supporting Your BFF with Type 1 Diabetes

Naturally, you want to step in and make it easier. You want to help. But here’s the truth: my job as Ginger’s friend is NOT to make her the perfect diabetic. My job is to support her while she manages her diabetes her way.

Diabetes Is Unpredictable — And That’s Okay

There is no such thing as a perfect diabetic. Type 1 diabetes (T1D) isn’t a math problem where the right equation always leads to the right answer. It’s a constant balancing act influenced by stress, hormones, activity levels, and even the weather. 

Some days, Ginger’s glucose numbers seem to cooperate. Other days, despite doing everything “right,” they don’t play so nicely.

One evening, when we were out to dinner, Ginger groaned and told me she was doing a “terrible job managing diabetes lately” because her blood sugar was stuck at 300 mg/dL and wouldn’t budge. 

“Have you been taking your insulin?” I asked.

“Yes! But it’s not working!” she said with so much frustration.

I looked at her and said, “Then you are doing a good job. You’re trying. It’s not your fault your blood sugars aren’t coming down. You’re doing everything you can to manage your diabetes.” 

She was jokingly mad that I was right — that she had to be kinder to herself. Her shoulders relaxed just a little, and I realized that sometimes, the best thing I can do is remind her that diabetes doesn’t always play fair — but that doesn’t mean she’s failing.

As her friend, I’ve learned that my role isn’t to question her choices or suggest ways to “improve” her management. It’s to acknowledge that diabetes is unpredictable and trust that she knows what’s best for her body.

Support Means Listening, Not Instructing

It’s tempting to offer advice — especially when you’ve read an article, heard about a new treatment, or seen someone else manage their diabetes differently. But unsolicited advice often comes across as judgment, even when well-intended. 

Ginger doesn’t need me to play doctor; she needs me to be a friend.

Instead of saying, “Should you be eating that?” I ask, “How are you feeling today?” Instead of assuming she should check her blood sugar, I trust she knows when to do it. My job is to listen, not lecture.

There was another time when we were out to dinner, and her CGM (continuous glucose monitor) alarm went off. She opened her app and showed me the number, and I instinctively raised my eyebrows. 

She immediately called me out, laughing, 'Hey, you're not supposed to do that.' We both laughed, and I admitted, 'It was an automatic response because I feel like I know how you would feel about that number.' 

That moment stuck with me. It reminded me that my role isn't to react to her numbers but to support her however she needs. I've kept that in the back of my head and know not to do that again.

Food Policing Is Not My Job

Food can be complicated for people living with T1D. Every meal involves mental calculations — carb counts, insulin doses, timing, and activity levels. The last thing Ginger needs is for me to add another layer of stress by questioning her food choices. If she grabs dessert, I don’t ask if she dosed for it. If she eats a snack, I don’t remind her to check her blood sugar. She’s already managing diabetes every single moment of every single day — my comments don’t make it easier.

The best way I can support her? 

Treating her like a person, not a blood sugar number—is the best way to show support. If she wants to split a dessert, I happily grab a spoon — though honestly, I'd rather share a bag of chips. If she’s feeling low and needs sugar, I’ll hand her a juice box without making it a big deal.

Respecting Boundaries

I've made an effort to learn about diabetes by asking thoughtful questions. Over time, Ginger has taught me so much. One thing I didn’t realize was how much I’d earned Ginger’s trust.

“Tara has totally earned my ‘diabetes trust’ by never scolding me or judging me or telling me what to eat,” Ginger said. “I know which people I have to be on guard around, like which friends or acquaintances are gonna say obnoxious things like, ‘Oh my god, should you be eating that?’ or the friend who said, ‘Is it really safe for your husband to leave you at home by yourself with your children?’ That’s offensive and ignorant.”

“Tara has earned my trust by asking and learning and being my cheerleader,” explained Ginger. “She reminds me how hard I’m working. She leads by example, too — she’s a big reason why I quit drinking diet soda and why I love kombucha and kimchi!”

“The best diabetes friends take the time to learn and give you a high-five no matter what your blood sugar is on your CGM,” Ginger said. 

One of our favorite things to do on long car rides is a little game—she lets me guess her insulin dose for a meal or snack, and I can pretty much nail what she would take. It's a fun way for me to understand her world better without overstepping.

Everyone manages diabetes differently. 

Some people love sharing every detail, while others prefer to keep it private. My job is to respect how Ginger wants to talk about (or not talk about) her diabetes.

Sometimes, she’ll vent about burnout and frustration. Other times, she won’t mention diabetes at all. Both are okay. I follow her lead.

Being There When It Counts

Supporting Ginger doesn’t mean hovering over her every move — it means being there when she needs me. If she’s dealing with a stubborn low, I stay with her until she feels better. If she’s overwhelmed, I listen without trying to “fix” it. If she needs a break from diabetes talk, I change the subject.

I always keep snacks in my purse in case Ginger has a low blood sugar. (Fun fact: she usually has snacks for me, too!) It’s second nature now, like carrying my phone or keys. Whether it’s dried fruit, glucose tabs (which she dislikes), candy corn, or Fun Dip, I want to make sure I have something on hand if she ever needs it. It’s not about micromanaging her diabetes — it’s about being prepared and making sure she’s safe.

Our friendship is built on trust, laughter, and understanding — diabetes is just one small part. We’ve shared countless moments, from workout dates to movie marathons and deep conversations about all the exciting things we want to accomplish. Sometimes, the best support I can offer Ginger isn’t about diabetes — it’s about being present, being her friend, and reminding her that she’s never in this alone.

She doesn’t need me to make her diabetes journey perfect. She needs me to be a safe place where she can be human.

Unconditional Support

Living with T1D is exhausting enough without feeling the pressure to manage it perfectly. As her friend, my job isn’t to add to that pressure — it’s to support her however she chooses to manage her diabetes.

Because at the end of the day, Ginger isn’t just a person with diabetes. She’s my best friend and business partner. And my role in her life is to be just that — a friend who stands beside her, not a coach trying to make her perfect.

And that’s the best kind of support I can give.